Archive for the 'amusings' Category

december descends

And snow is falling on my WordPress blog……

they are the tuhao

Gotta love Rachel Lu’s ‘Meet China’s Beverly Hillbillies’, not just for its amusing sociocultural content, but even more for its brilliant linguistics. For example, this paragraph is sheer genius:

They are the tuhaotu means dirt or uncouth; hao means splendor — and they are the Beverly Hillbillies of China. Or something like that: A crowdsourced translation call on China’s social media yielded “new money,” “slumdog millionaire,” the “riChinese” and “billionbilly.” When English falls short, French is on hand to help: Tuhao have the artistic sensibilities of the arriviste, the social grace of the parvenu, and the spending habits of the nouveau riche.

And you can read the rest of the article here!

caught in the web of love

Is this the most imba (first time using this word! :D) press release published by a local governmental agency ever? (Hat tip to friend Mel for the link!)

Prologue: True love…seriously?

It was May 2012 when a married Singaporean man was attracted to a female Chinese national and the couple decided to develop their illicit relationship further.  Unfortunately, as with many heart-rending love stories, they did not live happily forever as both were married, but not to each other.

Click HERE to read the rest of the press release! There’s even a photo montage at the bottom of the page!!!

Shared the link with a couple of other friends, and SY commented that ‘the corp comms must have psycho-ed the perm sec [permanent secretary]‘, haha!

Last but not least, check out other press releases by the same organization here! Most of them start with corny titles and introductions!!! :P

an amusing incident

Something really amusing happened to me yesterday evening……

Was supposed to meet my friends for dinner and decided to take a train there. The MRT I boarded wasn’t crowded. There was an Indian guy (almost an uncle, but not quite) sitting down, with an empty seat on each side of him.  I sat down on his left. Almost immediately, he slid over to the empty seat on his right!

I was like huh????? Because I was in a normal blouse and skirt, and wasn’t wearing any (overpowering) perfume, so why on earth did he act this way? I didn’t understand it either, but I guess he saw something in me to be avoided! :P

cook a pot of curry

Bought tickets to Cook a Pot of Curry yesterday, and really really really felt like eating curry after that.

When I got home after work today, I was greatly amused to see that my mum had cooked…… a pot of chicken curry. :D

the name’s bond…

This is a cute little snippet which appeared in a little brown sidebar, next to an article titled ‘Yuan bond offerings off to strong start in Singapore’ in today’s Today (by the same writer)……

The name’s Bond … Bak Kut Teh Bond?

While analysts are upbeat about the potential of offshore yuan-denominated bonds issued in Singapore, nobody seems certain what to call them.

Initially, many people stuck with “Dim Sum Bonds”, which is what yuan debt issued in Hong Kong is known as. However, to differentiate Singapore’s offerings, some have started to call them “Lion City Bonds”.

But some think that shows a lack of imagination bearing in mind the colourful names given to bonds elsewhere, such as Japan’s Samurai Bonds and Korea’s Kimchi Bonds.

flipping over a table in anger

Flipping over a table in anger:
(╯°□°)╯︵ ┻━┻

Putting the table back nicely:
┬──┬◡ノ(° -°ノ)

Throwing the guy who put the table back nicely:
(╯°Д°)╯︵/(.□ . \)

HAHAHAHA how cute are these Japanese emoticons? To see a whole amazing and amusing list, click HERE! (My colleague J sent me the link – she loves Japanese things!) Enjoy! 。◕‿◕。

mynah

This morning, while I was walking through the void deck of a nearby block on my way to the MRT, I saw a mynah pulling out bristles from a natural straw broom lying against a wall. Building its nest, I suppose……

mr taxi

Looking back, I guess I was a pretty good university student…… I never skipped any lectures, although admittedly I was often late for many morning classes. :P

Once in the first semester of my first year (late 2006), I was late for a 10 am tutorial, so I decided to cab from Clementi MRT and ended up taking a taxi with an equally tardy schoolmate, a tall Chinese guy. The very first time I shared a cab with a complete stranger!

During the ride we didn’t talk at all, but I noticed he was reading some Geog level 3000 notes. As we were reaching our destination, the AS3 building at Arts, I wondered how to broach the topic of payment. At that point, he coughed, so I looked at him, and he dropped two $1 coins into my hand, which was half the fare.  Somehow, I found his actions rather amusing, and can still remember clearly what he did, although I can no longer recall what he looked like at all.

NB Title of this entry was of course named for the catchy Girls’ Generation song Mr Taxi – you can watch the music video here!

instant millionaire

Just went to a money changer to change $150 into Vietnamese currency, and the uncle gave me 2 430 000 dong. Yes, that’s 2.43 million dong. Instant millionaire! :D

candy crush saga

Whatever is Candy Crush Saga about? Everyone’s playing it, even the auntie sitting next to me on the MRT. That is, everyone except me! Read reports that describe it as similar to Bejeweled, but I’ve never played that before either! Whatever is Bejeweled about?

I’m currently playing Tetris now (don’t roll your eyes!), but I think I’ll still end up playing Candy Crush eventually, when its popularity is on the wane, just like what I did with Draw Something.

Such is the life of a quasi-Luddite. :P

toilet stories

Was at VivoCity yesterday afternoon when I felt an urgent call of nature and immediately rushed headlong down a corridor into a toilet. The moment I stepped inside, I stopped short: it was full of men! I had gone to the gents by accident! There had been an uncle behind me in the corridor who kept calling out, but I didn’t realize that he had been calling me! Naturally, I beat a hasty retreat and went to the right toilet this time.

This amusing toilet story reminded me of another amusing toilet story which happened when I was very young:

Once, when my family and I were at a library, my late paternal grandma took me the the toilet. Somehow, she carried me up to urinate into this tiny toilet bowl fixed high up on the wall. This incident puzzled me for quite some time as I didn’t understand why the toilet bowl was so oddly positioned and also because I never encountered a toilet with such fixtures ever again. It was only until very much later that I realized that the odd toilet bowl was a urinal and my grandma must’ve brought me to the male toilet! She was illiterate so she had probably been unable to read the sign at its entrance.

glued together

Yesterday, Daphne started school again after many years, and her first day consisted of the requisite ice-breaking games.

She was telling Sze Yong and I over Whatsapp that they played ‘weird games’ under the hot sun, and that her class won fourth prize. Then she asked us to guess what the prize was, so I guessed ice cream and tissue paper. And she replied, ‘Sweat like hell and got 4th prize open up its 2carton of glue’!

So I asked what the champion team won, and she answered, ‘All get GLUE!!! / They get MORE GLUE / We two carton / They got 3 carton’. She added that one of her seniors even told her, ‘Wah got glue soooo good our time is pen’!

!!!!!!!

Oh my gosh HAHAHAHAHAHAHA. Sorry Daphne, but the whole thing is really quite funny. But maybe it was meant to be a meaningful prize – to glue the class together!!! :D

a piece of creative writing

Friend B, who teaches in a certain boys’ school in the Bishan-Ang Mo Kio area, posted this on his Facebook wall yesterday:

creative writing paragraph of boy whom I had punished for misplacing a worksheet by sending him out of class to copy the whole worksheet by hand:

“Nevertheless, John did regret losing his creative writing piece. The main reason was that he would probably be forced by the evil, dictator-like teacher to stand outside the class, and worst of all, to rewrite it, as many times as the teacher wanted until she was satisfied. Ms Lee was not for softies. In fact, if she had her way, she would declare the school under martial law Kim Jong Il-style for as long as it would take every student to get an A* in every subject. Which is to say, never.”

And his amusing post garnered over 90 likes, including mine! :D

forever 21

I had just left the office for lunch today when I bumped into our new temporary receptionist, HZ, who just graduated from Victoria Junior College last year and is waiting to enter national service.

He suddenly asked me, ‘How old are you?’

I replied, ‘You guess!’

’19?’

‘I’m 26!’ (Well, almost, anyway.)

‘Wah……’

‘Do I really look 19?’

‘Yes you look like you just graduated from JC!’

Hahahahahaha YAY!!! :D


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