Five Ways to Kill a Man
There are many cumbersome ways to kill a man.
You can make him carry a plank of wood
to the top of a hill and nail him to it.
To do this properly you require a crowd of people
wearing sandals, a cock that crows, a cloak
to dissect, a sponge, some vinegar and one
man to hammer the nails home.
Was on one of my usual jaunts through Wikipedia, this time delving into medieval European royalty, when I clicked to this odd-looking word – baldachin!
Was googling for something when I stumbled upon this French-looking word – vernissage!
Yesterday night, I was observing my brother studying feverishly at his desk, and suddenly noticed that there were no fewer than ten yellow highlighters – from various brands – scattered around him……
I was on the MRT to work this morning, when I suddenly noticed the digital sign declaring ‘NS27 Marina Bay’, heard the sound system announced ‘City Hall’ next, and then the train pulled into Dhoby Ghaut station. For a moment I thought I had found myself in the Twilight Zone……
So I wrote to Kopitiam and the National Environment Agency (NEA) about Lau Pa Sat’s toilets on Tuesday, and the latter responded to me yesterday!!! Hope to see the washrooms in a much better condition should I go back in future!!!
Subject: Feedback on toilet in Lau Pa Sat
Dear Ms (my surname)
We refer to your feedback on the above matter and apologize for your unpleasant experience.
Our officers have sternly warned the management to step up on their cleaning and maintenance regime so as to ensure that the toilets are kept clean and in good working order at all times.
The technicians are already starting work on the affected toilets.
We will conduct surprise checks to ensure compliance and take summary action for any violation of our regulations.
For further queries or clarifications, you may call us at 1800-CALL NEA, use the feedback form available in myENV mobile application or NEA website at http://www.nea.gov.sg
Thank you for your feedback.
(name of NEA staff) (Mr)
Environmental Health Department
National Environment Agency
So these are what pretty-sounding parterres are!
Was at Lau Pa Sat one evening back in April. To my absolute horror, I found that their toilet was in a completely deplorable condition. Had been intending to provide the management with feedback, but kept putting it off. Today, I finally emailed them, and also sent a copy to the National Environment Agency:
Subject: Feedback on toilet in Lau Pa Sat
On 23 April 2015 just past 9 pm, I visited Lau Pa Sat for a late dinner. Before eating, I went to use the ladies, and what a sight greeted me! It was nothing short of a post-apocalyptic wasteland. Filthy to the point of disgrace. The stuff of nightmares. I did not take any photos (too nauseating), but I’m sure you can imagine.
Somehow, I had the feeling that this was not a once-off occurrence. I hope the management of Lau Pa Sat will take the cleanliness of the toilets seriously, for both the patrons and workers of this eating place. Thank you.
An article on Singaporean Chinese names. Incidentally, l did notice the ‘Korean Connection’ naming phenomenon mentioned, by reading advertisements (containing names of students), placed by local Chinese tuition schools!
Your name may be a sign of the times
By Larry Teo
PEOPLE’S names are markers of time, according to Chinese onomastician Ji Changhong, as certain names are peculiar to or popular in certain periods.
Therefore, if you were a writer spinning a tale about Singapore in the 1960s, you should know that Chinese names such as Han (meaning refined) or Yu (universe) were rare, if not non-existent, at that time.
To capture the atmosphere of the era, go for names such as Ah Fu (blessing) or Ah Fa (prosper) for males, and Ah Lian (lotus) or Ah Hua (flower) for females.
I know these are now names associated chiefly with Chinatown or Geylang, but they were everywhere in the past.
I like to scribble and have kept a journal for most of my life, so I really found this article very enjoyable!
Family history in a trove of scribbles
By Corrie Tan
Last year, the number of people living in my family home shrank by half.
My youngest sister is studying abroad and is often home for only three months of the year. I got married; my husband and I bought a small flat close by. Then my grandmother, who was in her 90s, died peacefully of old age. Our domestic helper left to work and care for another elderly person, a line of work she had come to enjoy.
My parents decided that it was the right time to downsize. As luck would have it, they found a cosy apartment just a short walk from my block and we began to pack our lives into boxes.
Yesterday I was 27 and today I begin my 29th revolution around the sun. :)
I finished The Chronicles of Narnia (by CS Lewis) way back in primary school and enjoyed the series thoroughly. My favourite book out of the septology has always been The Voyage of the Dawn Treader – I felt that it was a great metaphor for a journey of self-discovery. In that book, Reepicheep, leader of the Talking Mice, reveals that a Dryad once sang a prophecy (which went on to affect his whole life) over his cradle:
Where sky and water meet,
Where the waves grow sweet,
Doubt not, Reepicheep,
To find all you seek,
There is the utter East.